Koen & María(33)

It was 2021 when I met María at an Erasmus party in Leiden. She was studying art history, I worked as a junior accountant at a Big Four firm. We fell in love along the Leiden canals and were inseparable. But her visa expired and she had to return to Málaga. I faced a choice: long-distance relationship or go with her.

I chose to go. But not blindly. I applied to Deloitte Spain in Málaga and was hired as an auditor. My Dutch experience and CPA background were in demand. The salary — €2,200 net per month — was lower than in the Netherlands, but very reasonable for a 30-year-old in Málaga. My employer arranged the employment contract and the alta at the Seguridad Social.

Living with María in her hometown was a revelation. I learned the Spanish way of life from the inside: the Sunday family lunches at her parents' that lasted until five, the paseo along the harbor after dinner, the rhythm of siesta and late evenings. Her mother taught me to cook — gazpacho, tortilla, salmorejo — and her father took me to Málaga CF football matches.

The bureaucracy was manageable because María could arrange everything in Spanish. My NIE, empadronamiento and bank account opening at BBVA took two weeks total. The certificado de registro as EU citizen cost €12. María and I live together unmarried — in Spain you can register as a pareja de hecho (registered partnership), which provides tax benefits on the IRPF return.

After two years at Deloitte I switched to a local accounting firm as a senior auditor, for €2,800 net. The workload is lower than at Big Four and I have time for life outside the office. María works as a curator at the Centre Pompidou Málaga. Together we earn €4,600 net — in Málaga that's an excellent income.

My advice to people who emigrate for love: let your partner lead the bureaucracy. A Spanish partner saves you months of frustration. Learn the language — I spoke B2 after one year and C1 after two years through full immersion. And embrace the Spanish family: it's intense, loud and sometimes overwhelming, but it's also the warmest social structure I know. María and I are getting married next year at the Málaga cathedral. Her whole family is coming. And mine is flying over from Leiden.